Is this not what blogger is forrrr?

Hey there,
"Oh no, he's gonna talk about himself again instead of writing another awesome story" I hear you cry. Yes, you there. In the corner. With the beady eyes. I'm kidding. I have no fans. Unless you count, Bryce. Yeah, another shout out. In fact, fuck it:

OMG CHECK OUT MY FRENDS BLOG IT IS SO GOOD AND STUF :

Ahhh, wait, I can't do that because he uses a pseudonym. Don't wanna reveal his identity. That would be awful. So here's someone completely unrelated.  Anyway, where was I? Oh right. So the other day I was sitting in the study hall at school, masturbating to oil-coated seagulls as per usual, and I noticed my friend writing an article on a blog that he uses for his media studies. So I bounced to his side and shouted into his face in front of everyone studying quietly :
 "Yo nigga, check mah blog out, brah. It's straight up dope" He turned to his monitor, sighed a little and then typed in the name cause he totally knew that shit already. Anyway, turns out the school had blocked it because it contains 'pornographic or highly offensive content' and I was like WUT DAH FACK MAAAN. Ain't none of dat bull in my blog. Ain't none of it.

I forgot what the actual point in this was. Oh, wait. So I'd just finished a little project for physics and still had about half an hour until my next class, so I fired up the ol' Jetpunk and did some quizzes. Funnily enough it garnered quite an impressive crowd, which I felt a little bad for because they really should have been doing their work rather than watching me being insanely good at trivia. Well, the thing is, during this period of quizzing I realised nothing else on the internet really interested me anymore. When I got home after school it was already pitch black so there was no point leaving the house for anything. So what do you do when no one's home and you're stuck inside? Hah, no, not that you dirty bastard. The internet of course. After going through my subscriptions on YouTube it hit me that there was nothing else on the site to watch. Nothing worth watching anyway. So giving up on that website forever I turned to Facebook. Ah, the land of silly photos and people talking about the end of the world. They say things like "lol, cmon its not gonna end, y wont everybody jus shuddup about it?" and after seeing that I give up on Facebook and go to every news site I know. And no, that doesn't mean gossipy shit which is just embarrassing at this point. I'm sure you've all heard about Katy Perry deciding to 'unfollow' Russell Brand on Twitter. SHOCK! HORROR! Unfortunately I'm guilty of sharing a story about a man that broke his penis during sex, but in my defense it was found in the Daily Mail which, although pretty awful at times is at least a legitimate news distributor.

But I digress. The point is I'm looking forward to the holidays. It's about damn time and I have so much fucking Christmas spirit I might just dress up in a big red suit and distribute SARS to all the chavs in the neighbourhood. Once the holidays begin I get to leave this boring little market town which is supposed to be one of the major cities in the country and go Up North where I belong, leaving the internet and all its evil behind for 2 weeks. I also rediscovered the joys of television. The problem is everything worth watching is ending for the holidays, I mean it does result in several exciting season finales but it means there's nothing left. Don't go telling me Christmas TV is awesome because it bloody well isn't until the day before, and what kind of sick, lonely twat spends their Christmas watching TV. Oh well, more time for studying it seems. Hurrah! I actually enjoy it now. Maybe because I've become a boring, pretentious, anal retentive, humdrum, decent, generous, caring, handsome, fabulous, top-notch sorta bloke. My God, I love myself.

Fuck off.
- JF